Walking and Breathing

Normally, I am like most folks and I take for granted the ability to walk and breathe at the same time. When it is suddenly taken away from me, I really miss it, though. I had a sudden flare up of dystonia symptoms on Saturday and since then walking only a few steps makes my chest spasm each time I take a breath. I have gone from finally starting to enjoy neighborhood walks again to carefully planning my "trips" throughout the house. God certainly does know how to humble me rather quickly...

I hope this does not come across as complaining, as that is something I don't believe in doing. However, I never want to give the impression that I am a Super-Duper-Do-It-All-Mom. I am human, sinfully prideful, and easily frustrated when something like this happens. It usually takes me a few days to gather myself and get back on track, figuring out how to cope with the new challenges before me. These symptoms often go away after a day or so, but it has been four full days now and there is no indication of them letting up.

In times like this, I have to admit that I struggle knowing what to pray for. I truly want to glorify God in all that I say and do in my life, but I usually want to do it in a manner that is convenient and fits into my own schedule. I am thankful that God slows me down enough to see this sinful part of my life, but then I find myself thinking, "OK, now I have learned this lesson again, so you can put me back to normal." What if God's plan is for me to remain like this? What then? Would I gracefully be able to accept my limitations and make the necessary changes in my life to cope with the challenges? Would I indeed continue to strive to glorify God in all that I do?

Today it is my prayer that God would use me in whatever manner He chooses, whether it is walking, talking, and breathing simultaneously, or praising Him from a chair. May God grant me the grace to be thankful for the opportunities I am given to serve Him each and every day. Perhaps the next time someone asks me if I am OK as my chest spasms when I breathe, I will be able to say, "Yes, I am just savoring each breath that God gives me!"